You’re facing a decision. It could be anything — what to do about school, whether to take that job, whether to move, whether to end the relationship, what to do with your life in general.
And instead of just… deciding… you spiral. You think about every possible outcome. Every worst-case scenario. Every opinion everyone might have about your choice. You run the situation through your head a hundred times from every angle. You ask five different people for advice and get five different answers. You make a pros-and-cons list that somehow makes things less clear, not more.
What started as a straightforward question has become a 47-layer existential crisis. And now you’re exhausted, confused, and no closer to an answer than when you started.
This is what overcomplicating looks like. And if you’re a young adult trying to figure out your life, it’s probably happening to you constantly. Here’s the thing: your life is probably not as complicated as your brain is making it. You just haven’t learned how to cut through the noise yet. That’s what this post is about.
You’re facing a decision. It could be anything — what to do about school, whether to take that job, whether to move, whether to end the relationship, what to do with your life in general.
And instead of just… deciding… you spiral. You think about every possible outcome. Every worst-case scenario. Every opinion everyone might have about your choice. You run the situation through your head a hundred times from every angle. You ask five different people for advice and get five different answers. You make a pros-and-cons list that somehow makes things less clear, not more.
What started as a straightforward question has become a 47-layer existential crisis. And now you’re exhausted, confused, and no closer to an answer than when you started.
This is what overcomplicating looks like. And if you’re a young adult trying to figure out your life, it’s probably happening to you constantly.
Here’s the thing: your life is probably not as complicated as your brain is making it. You just haven’t learned how to cut through the noise yet. That’s what this post is about.
Why Your Brain Does This to You
You’re thinking in assumptions, not facts. Most of the things stressing you out right now aren’t real. They’re stories your brain made up from assumptions. “I can’t switch careers because I’ll have to start over.” Is that true? Or is that an assumption? “Nobody will take me seriously without a degree.” Really? Have you tested that? When you actually separate what you know from what you’ve assumed, the real situation is usually much simpler than the one in your head.
You’re living by someone else’s blueprint. You’re making decisions based on what your parents think you should do, what social media says success looks like, or what “everyone” else is doing. Those aren’t your frameworks. A decision that makes perfect sense for someone else’s life might make zero sense for yours. But you’ll never figure that out if you’re always running your choices through someone else’s filter.
You’re trying to solve everything at once. Career. Finances. Relationships. Health. Identity. Purpose. All at the same time. No wonder you’re overwhelmed. You don’t have to untangle your entire existence in one sitting. You just need to figure out the next thing. One thing. That’s it.
You’re confusing motion with progress. Researching endlessly. Asking ten people for advice. Making elaborate plans you never execute. Reading one more article before you start. It feels productive, but it’s really just a sophisticated way of avoiding the discomfort of committing to something. At some point, you have to stop planning and start doing.
How to Strip Things Down and Think Clearly
There’s a way out of the spiral. It’s not about being smarter. It’s about asking better questions and stripping away everything that isn’t real.
Start with what’s actually true. Not what you feel. Not what someone told you. Not what you’re afraid might happen. What do you actually, factually know? Write it down. You’ll notice the list of facts is much shorter than the tornado in your head. Everything that’s not on that list is assumption. And assumptions can be questioned, tested, or thrown out.
Ask: “What’s the real problem here?” Not the surface problem. The real one underneath it. “I can’t find a job” might actually be “I don’t know what kind of job I want.” “I’m always broke” might actually be “I spend money when I’m stressed because it makes me feel better for five minutes.” The surface problem is a symptom. Find the root and everything above it gets simpler.
Ignore what “everyone” does. Just because everyone goes to college doesn’t mean you should. Just because everyone’s on a certain career track doesn’t mean it’s right for you. “Everyone” isn’t living your life with your brain, your strengths, your circumstances. Strip away the defaults and ask yourself: if I had zero pressure from anyone — no judgment, no expectations — what would I actually do? That answer is usually simpler and more honest than whatever you’ve been agonizing over.
Break big questions into small ones. “What should I do with my life?” is paralyzing. Nobody can answer that in one sitting. But “What’s one thing I could try this month?” is something you can actually work with. Stop trying to answer the big question directly. Break it into pieces small enough to act on. The big answer reveals itself through the small ones.
Decide with 70% information, not 100%. You will never have all the information. You’ll never feel completely sure. Waiting for certainty is itself a decision — it’s the decision to stay exactly where you are. If you have enough to take a reasonable step, take it. You can always adjust once you’re in motion. Imperfect action will always beat perfect planning.
What a Simpler Life Actually Looks Like
Simplicity isn’t about having fewer problems. It’s about being clear on what matters and letting go of what doesn’t.
It means fewer decisions that drain you because the important ones are already guided by your values and your direction. If you know your North Star, you don’t need to agonize over every fork in the road — you just ask which path points closer to it.
It means carrying fewer opinions. Not everyone’s voice deserves equal weight in your decisions. Your parents get a vote, not a veto. Social media gets zero votes. Your own experience and self-awareness get the deciding vote.
It means fewer grand plans and more small experiments. Instead of mapping out the next five years, try something for thirty days and see what you learn. The experiment either works or it teaches you something. Either way, you’re further ahead than you were sitting there thinking about it.
A simpler life isn’t a smaller life. It’s a life where you’ve cut away the noise and focused on what’s real. And real is almost always simpler than the story in your head.
When It Still Feels Like Too Much
Some days, even the simple version feels overwhelming. That’s okay. That’s human.
On those days, don’t try to figure out your whole life. Just ask yourself one question: “What’s the next right thing I can do?” Not the next ten things. Not the perfect thing. Just the next right thing. Maybe it’s sending one email. Maybe it’s going for a walk. Maybe it’s finally having the conversation you’ve been putting off. Maybe it’s just getting out of bed and showering.
That’s enough. One thing, done, moves you forward. And forward — in any direction — is better than frozen.
Your life isn’t as complicated as your brain tells you it is. Strip away the assumptions. Ignore the noise. Stop borrowing other people’s expectations. What’s left is the truth. And the truth is almost always simpler than you think.
Your turn. Keep it simple:
1. What’s one decision you’ve been overcomplicating that could be answered by asking “What do I actually know for a fact?”
2. What’s one assumption about your life that you’ve never actually questioned?
3. If you stopped trying to figure out the whole staircase — what’s just the next step?
Not sure where you are in the cycle?
The Growth Compass Quiz takes 5 minutes and shows you which direction your energy is pointing right now.
This post is part of the personal growth series at MyGrowthCompass. Next up: how to talk to your family without losing your mind — or your temper.
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